Virtual Phone Bank: “Ohioans For Truth”

Written by David on September 28th, 2008

I’ve another idea about how we can use John McCain’s history of adultery to win this election.

Although the polls in a number of swing states have been turning in Obama’s favor recently, McCain is still clinging to a narrow lead in Ohio.  Democrats always do well in the urban areas there, but George W. Bush was able to win Ohio twice by targeting voters in rural areas, particularly those in southern Ohio along the Kentucky border, and in the so-called “collar counties” circling major urban areas.  If we can do something to depress turnout in these areas and limit McCain’s margin of victory in places like Butler, Clermont and Warren counties, Obama will win Ohio.  And if Obama wins Ohio, it will be nearly impossible for McCain to win the election.

So what’s my idea?  Well, what would happen if hundreds or thousands of people started calling Ohioans in rural and exurban areas and describing McCain’s history of adultery and mistreatment of his first wife?

Worst case scenario:  a few hundred potential McCain voters, shocked and disgusted by what they’ve learned, don’t bother voting or vote for a third-party candidate or maybe even vote for Obama.  No matter how small the numbers, it could make a difference in a close election.

Best case scenario:  the Ohio media, or better yet the national media, pick up the story of Ohioans receiving disturbing phone calls from some shadowy group called “Ohioans For Truth.”  The media spotlight shines upon the story of McCain’s treatment of his wife after she was disfigured in an auto accident, thousands of otherwise ignorant people learn the truth, and Obama wins Ohio and the nation easily.

Worth trying, right?  Most of us have extra cell phone minutes left over each month, so why not put them to good use?

Step # 1: Pick a town you’re going to hit.  Towns in Butler County are listed here, towns in Clermont County are listed here, and towns in Warren County are listed here.  Focusing our efforts geographically will make it more likely that the story is picked up by the local media (and the local story could then be picked up by the statewide media).

Step # 2: Go to whitepages.com.  Enter the name of the town you’ve chosen, enter “OH” in the state field and then enter a fairly common last name in the Last Name field.  Depending upon the size of the town, you’ll normally get a number of choices that have the phone number listed.  If you have enough choices, focus on women.

Step # 3: Start making calls!  Use the script below and remember to be polite.  As misinformed as many of them may be, the people you’ll reach will mostly be friendly and polite themselves.  Of course, don’t sound like you’re reading from a script.  Be conversational.

Step # 4: If you can get a person to give you his or her email address, send him or her “The REAL John McCain” viral right-wing email.

Step # 5: Set goals for yourself.  How many calls will you make between now and election day?  100?  1,000?

Step # 6 (this is essential): Encourage every right-minded (left-minded?) person you know to participate in this virtual phone bank.  The only way any of this is going to have an effect is if hundreds or thousands of people participate.  None of us can do it alone.

Here’s the script to use when making your calls…

1. “Hi!  Is this [person's name]?”

If YES, go to step 2.

If NO, “Could I speak to him/her, please?”

If NO, go to step 2 and address the person who answered the phone.

2. “This is [your real or fake name] calling from Ohioans for Truth.  How are you today?”

Engage in friendly banter if necessary.

“Would it be okay if I took just a minute to talk to you about how John McCain repeatedly cheated on his first wife Carol after she was disfigured in a car accident?”

If YES or NOT SURE, go to step 3.

If NO, skip to step 4.

3. “Great!  Unfortunately this is kind of a sad story.  On Christmas Eve in 1969, John McCain’s first wife Carol was severely injured in a car accident.  She was hospitalized for over six months and over the next two years had to endure 23 operations.  Because of the shattered bones that were removed, she lost several inches in height.  She walked with a limp.  Her body was held together with screws and metal plates.  And because of her challenged mobility and medications, Carol gained a lot of weight.

“When John McCain came home from Vietnam, friends say he was appalled by Carol’s physical changes.  She was a model when they had married, and now she was overweight and disfigured.  Almost immediately, John McCain started cheating on Carol.  He would leave her at home with the kids and go off on cross-country trips where he had sexual encounters with a wide variety of women.

“This went on for over four years until he met Cindy Hensley, a beautiful blond heiress 17 years his junior, and the current Mrs. McCain.  Her family was rich and politically connected, and John McCain saw an opportunity.  He divorced Carol and only one month later married Cindy.

“To this day, Carol still lives alone.  She never remarried.

“Ronald and Nancy Reagan, who were dear friends of John and Carol, stopped speaking to John because of what he did.

“John McCain has only said he “accepts responsibility” for what he did to Carol. But is he has never said he’s sorry. He has never even been baptized!

4. “Would it be okay if I sent you an email that describes this sad story in detail?  I think it’s important that you see the facts and that you share them with your family and friends.”

If YES, get the person’s email address and send him/her the “The REAL John McCain” viral right-wing email.

If NO, “Well, I encourage you to look into this story online and to share it with your friends and family.  It’s important to know what kind of man John McCain really is.”

5. “Thank you for your time, [person's name].  Goodbye.”

Related Posts:

My Attempt at Composing a Viral Right-Wing Email

If I Were a Millionaire

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4 Comments so far ↓

  1. Sep
    28
    3:27
    PM
    Cat

    Can I get shot for doing this?

  2. Sep
    28
    6:26
    PM
    David

    No. You will not be shot and you will not be arrested. On the contrary, you will live a longer, happier life if you do this.

  3. Oct
    9
    8:08
    AM
    Paul

    Using the phone book to target voters is not terribly effective.

    The first call needs to screen them for their voting preference. If they’re supporting Obama, then it’s idiotic to tell them this stuff and potentially offend them.
    Because you’re using the phone book, you’re going to end up calling dems, Obama LEANING (key word) independents, and tons of NON-VOTERS.

  4. Oct
    9
    8:10
    AM
    Paul

    I said “the first call” when I meant “the first question”. If the answer is “I support Obama”, then you thank them for their support, say something nice, and move on to the next call.

    This is not to say that this is a smart strategy. People don’t trust nonsense they hear over the phone. They’re just as likely to have their support for McCain harden.

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