Americans, please stop using this always insincerely hyperbolic expression of gratitude.

Thanks so mu-

A group of Oxford researchers recently compiled a list of the Top 10 Most Irritating Expressions in the English language.  Good for them.

Here’s their list:

1 - At the end of the day
2 - Fairly unique
3 - I personally
4 - At this moment in time
5 - With all due respect
6 - Absolutely
7 - It’s a nightmare
8 - Shouldn’t of
9 - 24/7
10 - It’s not rocket science

I can’t argue with any of them though I’d probably put “in my opinion” up there next to “I personally.”

But I must say that being subject to these expressions does not bother me too much during my day-to-day “real” life.  Perhaps I’m more forgiving than I should be, but so be it.  Where I do find the use of cliched, meaningless, irritating expression to be completely unbearable is in my work life (my “fake” life).  It is fortunate for the users of business world cliches that I am opposed to violence on principle, otherwise a great many of them might have wondered whether or not they were in fact experiencing “a win-win situation” whilst being thrown through a conference room window.

Here now is my own list of the Top 10 Most Irritating Business Cliches in the English Language:

1. win-win situation (rarely is a win-lose situation pointed out)
2. thinking outside the box (After over ten years in the number one spot, “thinking outside the box” has finally slipped to number two thanks to greatly decreased usage.  Using this expression demonstrates that you are not “thinking outside the box.”)
3. best practices (translation: it’s my way or the highway)
4. value-added proposition (I don’t know what this means)
5. low-hanging fruit (when I hear it I think “low-hanging balls”)
6. Web 2.0 (most often used by people who have no idea what it means)
7. let’s take this offline (translation: I don’t want to talk about that now or probably ever)
8. maximize leverage (fuck you)
9. manage expectations (translation: lower expectations)
10. nice to see you (translation: I want to throw up)