I’ve another idea about how we can use John McCain’s history of adultery to win this election.

Although the polls in a number of swing states have been turning in Obama’s favor recently, McCain is still clinging to a narrow lead in Ohio.  Democrats always do well in the urban areas there, but George W. Bush was able to win Ohio twice by targeting voters in rural areas, particularly those in southern Ohio along the Kentucky border, and in the so-called “collar counties” circling major urban areas.  If we can do something to depress turnout in these areas and limit McCain’s margin of victory in places like Butler, Clermont and Warren counties, Obama will win Ohio.  And if Obama wins Ohio, it will be nearly impossible for McCain to win the election.

So what’s my idea?  Well, what would happen if hundreds or thousands of people started calling Ohioans in rural and exurban areas and describing McCain’s history of adultery and mistreatment of his first wife?

Worst case scenario:  a few hundred potential McCain voters, shocked and disgusted by what they’ve learned, don’t bother voting or vote for a third-party candidate or maybe even vote for Obama.  No matter how small the numbers, it could make a difference in a close election.

Best case scenario:  the Ohio media, or better yet the national media, pick up the story of Ohioans receiving disturbing phone calls from some shadowy group called “Ohioans For Truth.”  The media spotlight shines upon the story of McCain’s treatment of his wife after she was disfigured in an auto accident, thousands of otherwise ignorant people learn the truth, and Obama wins Ohio and the nation easily.

Worth trying, right?  Most of us have extra cell phone minutes left over each month, so why not put them to good use?

Step # 1: Pick a town you’re going to hit.  Towns in Butler County are listed here, towns in Clermont County are listed here, and towns in Warren County are listed here.  Focusing our efforts geographically will make it more likely that the story is picked up by the local media (and the local story could then be picked up by the statewide media).

Step # 2: Go to whitepages.com.  Enter the name of the town you’ve chosen, enter “OH” in the state field and then enter a fairly common last name in the Last Name field.  Depending upon the size of the town, you’ll normally get a number of choices that have the phone number listed.  If you have enough choices, focus on women.

Step # 3: Start making calls!  Use the script below and remember to be polite.  As misinformed as many of them may be, the people you’ll reach will mostly be friendly and polite themselves.  Of course, don’t sound like you’re reading from a script.  Be conversational.

Step # 4: If you can get a person to give you his or her email address, send him or her “The REAL John McCain” viral right-wing email.

Step # 5: Set goals for yourself.  How many calls will you make between now and election day?  100?  1,000?

Step # 6 (this is essential): Encourage every right-minded (left-minded?) person you know to participate in this virtual phone bank.  The only way any of this is going to have an effect is if hundreds or thousands of people participate.  None of us can do it alone.

Here’s the script to use when making your calls…

1. “Hi!  Is this [person's name]?”

If YES, go to step 2.

If NO, “Could I speak to him/her, please?”

If NO, go to step 2 and address the person who answered the phone.

2. “This is [your real or fake name] calling from Ohioans for Truth.  How are you today?”

Engage in friendly banter if necessary.

“Would it be okay if I took just a minute to talk to you about how John McCain repeatedly cheated on his first wife Carol after she was disfigured in a car accident?”

If YES or NOT SURE, go to step 3.

If NO, skip to step 4.

3. “Great!  Unfortunately this is kind of a sad story.  On Christmas Eve in 1969, John McCain’s first wife Carol was severely injured in a car accident.  She was hospitalized for over six months and over the next two years had to endure 23 operations.  Because of the shattered bones that were removed, she lost several inches in height.  She walked with a limp.  Her body was held together with screws and metal plates.  And because of her challenged mobility and medications, Carol gained a lot of weight.

“When John McCain came home from Vietnam, friends say he was appalled by Carol’s physical changes.  She was a model when they had married, and now she was overweight and disfigured.  Almost immediately, John McCain started cheating on Carol.  He would leave her at home with the kids and go off on cross-country trips where he had sexual encounters with a wide variety of women.

“This went on for over four years until he met Cindy Hensley, a beautiful blond heiress 17 years his junior, and the current Mrs. McCain.  Her family was rich and politically connected, and John McCain saw an opportunity.  He divorced Carol and only one month later married Cindy.

“To this day, Carol still lives alone.  She never remarried.

“Ronald and Nancy Reagan, who were dear friends of John and Carol, stopped speaking to John because of what he did.

“John McCain has only said he “accepts responsibility” for what he did to Carol. But is he has never said he’s sorry. He has never even been baptized!

4. “Would it be okay if I sent you an email that describes this sad story in detail?  I think it’s important that you see the facts and that you share them with your family and friends.”

If YES, get the person’s email address and send him/her the “The REAL John McCain” viral right-wing email.

If NO, “Well, I encourage you to look into this story online and to share it with your friends and family.  It’s important to know what kind of man John McCain really is.”

5. “Thank you for your time, [person's name].  Goodbye.”

Related Posts:

My Attempt at Composing a Viral Right-Wing Email

If I Were a Millionaire

You know those wacko right-wing emails forwarded to you by your Uncle Larry from Tulsa that describe, with outraged language in multi-colored 30 pt html font, how Barack Obama is a MUSLIM who likes watching KINDERGARTNERS have SEX on top of a pile of BURNING AMERICAN FLAGS, all while HATING AMERICA (and eating elitist arugula)?

Well, such emails are a primary source of “information” for a great many of the ignoramuses who will decide this election.  Why do we allow the right-wing to dominate this simple, free and highly effective means of influencing the ignorant masses?  Yes, we’re better than these simplistic tracts, but the idea here is to win, right?

These emails do not depend on reason for their effectiveness.  Instead, they arouse a visceral reaction from the gullible, low-information recipients who are most influenced by them.  Therefore, I’m thinking that going after McCain FROM THE RIGHT might actually work the best, since that’s how people are accustomed to getting their red meat.  And I think that going after him for repeatedly cheating upon on his first wife after she was disfigured in an auto accident is the way to go.  Women will decide this election, and this is a story that will really resonate with them.  It’s a story both the media and the Obama campaign won’t dare touch, despite the fact that it’s 100% true.

Now, the reason these right-wing emails are so effective is that they tell right-wingers what they want to hear.  They reinforce something these people want to believe.  So this email of mine isn’t going to work on everyone.  But it could certainly influence a few non-ideologues in swing states.

So why not try it?  Copy and paste the below into an email and send it to every email address listed in all of those forwards of any viral right-wing email you’ve received.  If they all know you’re a fire-breathing leftist America-hater, then use a fake email account.  Send it to every right-winger you know (everybody knows at least one) as if you were sincere in your outrage, and send a separate email to all your non-right-winger contacts encouraging them to send it to any right-wing contacts they might have.  We don’t have to flip too many votes to make this effort worthwhile.  Just make a few hundred (or a few thousand?) potential McCain voters stay home or vote for Obama on election day, and it can make all the difference.

So here it is, my first-ever attempt to compose a viral right-wing email!  No need to feel slimy…although this stuff is unseemly, it’s all accurate.  So create your own email and pass it on!

Note: paragraph breaks not visible below will appear when you paste this into an html email.

Subject:  The REAL John McCain

Once upon a time there was a man named John McCain who graduated 894th out of 899 from his class at the U.S. Naval Academy and married a beautiful model named Carol.

Then something terrible happened:  Carol was seriously injured in a bad car accident.  She was hospitalized for over six months, and during the next two years had 23 operations.  Because of the shattered bones that were removed, she lost several inches in height.  She walked with a limp.  Her body was held together with screws and metal plates.

And because of her challenged mobility and medications, Carol gained a lot of weight.

Friends remember that John was “appalled” by these changes to his once-beautiful wife’s body.  Almost immediately, John began to cheat on her with a wide variety of women, taking off on cross-country journeys while leaving Carol at home with their three kids.

This serial cheating went on for over four years.  Then John met a beautiful, blond heiress 17 years his junior while in Hawaii. In his memoir, John describes asking her to join him for drinks at a bar and “falling in love” that very night.

Cindy Hensley’s family was extremely wealthy as a result of their beer distribution company. They were also POLITICALLY CONNECTED! John saw an opportunity.

He started divorce proceedings against Carol immediately. A month after their divorce, he married Cindy.

Carol still lives alone.  She never remarried.

Ross Perot, who paid for Carol’s medical bills, has said, “McCain is the classic opportunist. He’s always reaching for attention and glory. After he came home, Carol walked with a limp. So he threw her over for a poster girl with big money from Arizona. And the rest is history.”

Ronald and Nancy Reagan, who were dear friends of John and Carol, stopped speaking to John because of what he did.

John McCain has only said he “accepts responsibility” for what he did to Carol. But is he sorry? He has never even been baptized!

So, is John McCain the best person to represent our values? Or would we be better off waiting four years for a TRUE CONSERVATIVE to defeat President Obama?

The choice is clear for anyone who cares about character and morality.

Please forward to everyone you know who is thinking of voting for John McCain!!!

Sarah Palin in 2012!!!

Related Posts:

The Virtual Phone Bank

How a Rich Man Could Single-Handedly Defeat McCain

I would offer a $1 million reward for the first person who unearthed video of Sarah Palin speaking in tongues at her Pentecostal church.  If such video footage actually exists, and if somebody actually found it, great!  I’m sure such a thing would shave off thousands of votes from McCain in each swing state and could potentially flip one or more of those states to Obama.

But even if there is no such footage, the publicity from my $1 million offer would shine a light on the fact of Palin’s Pentecostalism.  It would become one more mini-issue that would have an effect on the low-information ignoramuses who will decide this election.  They might not be bright, but they are mostly sane, and sane people would not like the idea of a kooky creationist being one malignant melanoma away from running the country.

So does anybody have a million bucks you’d be willing to part with for a good cause?