Main Entry: train-tranny
Pronunciation: [trane   tra-nee]
Function: noun
Etymology: Train - Middle English, from Anglo-French, from trainer to draw, drag.  Date:14th century. Tranny - shortening & alteration of trannsexual.  Date: 1957.

A Homo sapien of the male gender who, despite his broad shoulders and need to sit with his legs splayed to make room for his imaginary over-sized genitalia, insists on sitting in the middle “women only” seat in New York City subway cars when others are already occupying the two adjacent seats.

“Backing his ass into the seat like a hippopotamus at the opera, the mouth-breathing train-tranny wedged himself between me and the obese woman with the pink Conway shopping bags and then continually elbowed the side of my book until he exited the subway car at Jay Street-Borough Hall.”

Main Entry: compost patty
Pronunciation: [kam-post pat-ty]
Function: noun
Etymology: Compost - Middle English compote, from Old French, mixture, compost, from Latin compositum, mixture, from neuter past participle of componere, to put together.  Patty - French pâté.

Often inaccurately described as a veggie burger, actually a flat, nasty cake of decomposing peas, lima beans, corn (possibly plucked undigested from fecal matter), and putrid mush that is grilled or fried and served on a roll in place of an actual veggie burger (soy patty).

“I could smell the decay the moment the waitress set down my plate, but it was not until I lifted the top of the bun to reveal the grotesque pea and corn chunks that I grabbed the revolting compost patty and hurled it across the diner screaming, “I ordered a veggie burger, you wench!”

I have created another new word.

Main Entry: Polehumper
Pronunciation: [pohl-hump-er]
Function: noun
Etymology: Pole - Middle English, from Old French, from Latin polus, from Greek polos, axis, sky; see kwel-1 in Indo-European roots.  Hump - Probably of Low German origin.

1. Any of various squat, underdeveloped Homo sapiens who cluster around a vertical pole in a New York City subway car, thus blocking access to the center of the car by normally sized Homo sapiens

2. One who cannot reach the horizontal bar in a New York City subway car due to a primitive genetic structure and/or moral failing

“While attempting to reach the large open space in the center of the subway car, I heard a popping sound and felt a crunch underfoot.  When I looked down expecting to see a crushed cockroach but instead saw a small, pudgy hand sticking out from under my shoe, I realized that I had actually stepped upon a polehumper.  Oh well.”

synonyms
-polehump(ing) v.
-polehumpism noun

I have created a new word.

Main Entry: Microconformist
Pronunciation: [mahy-kroh-kuhn-fawr-mist]
Function: noun or adjective
Etymology: Greek micro small; Middle English, from Anglo-French conformer, from Latin conformare, from com- + formare to form, from forma form
Date: 21st century

: one who slaveishly adopts the uniform, attitude, musical tastes, language and sundry cliches of a niche cultural group (e.g. hipsters, frat boys, Catholic priests, skaters, hip hoppers, Hasidic Jews, rednecks)

“I went to see my friend’s band play in Williamsburg but felt nauseous the entire time because the place was packed with obnoxious, identically styled microconformists drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon while sneering at my khakis.”

synonyms
-microconformist adj.
-microconformism noun